Asking questions is one way to keep exploring the many dimensions of your multi-faceted spouse and to keep your lines of communication open:

• What do you admire most about each of your parents?
• What is your favourite summertime memory from your childhood?
• When someone says they’re sorry, what is the most important part of the apology?
• How have you changed through our marriage?
• Whose marriage do you admire, and what can we learn from it?
• What's the silliest fight we've ever had?
• What can we do to be better stewards of our finances?
• What are some things that we used to do that you would like to do again?
• What is your favourite memory of your grandparents?
• What are five things you are thankful for this year?
• What's the funniest thing you ever did as a kid?
• What’s one thing I did this week that impressed you?
• What are some practical ways I can make you feel loved?
• What's one thing that made you laugh today?
• What are the top five things you are most thankful for in your life?
• What is God is teaching you right now?
• What helps you calm down (e.g., going for a walk, having a cup of tea, etc.)?
• What do you like most about our marriage and why?
• How can we parent better as a team?
• What was one expectation you had about our marriage?
• What’s on your heart today? How are you feeling?
• What has been the most positive spiritual experience that we’ve shared as a couple?
• What three things have you done in our marriage that you’re most proud of?
• What can I do to support your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health?
• What can we do to strengthen our spiritual connection as a couple?
• What is something you wish you knew when we first got married?
• When we're in conflict, what do you need me to understand?
• How can we improve our marriage at this stage of life (e.g., parenting, empty nest, etc.)?
• What can we do to invest in our relationship this year?
• What are some unmet expectations you have in our marriage?
• Is there anything I do that really bothers you? That you'd like to see change?
• What do I need to know about how you express different emotions (e.g., sadness, anger)?
• What do I need to understand about your attachment style?
• What’s one thing you would include in your dream house?
• How can I better speak your love language?
• In what ways can we be more on the same team?
• What makes you feel the most alive?
• How can I help you when you're feeling overwhelmed?
• What was your favourite hobby as a child?
• When do you feel closest with God?
• How can I help you feel more comfortable when we talk?
• What boundaries can we set with others to protect our marriage?
• Do you need time alone or time with others to feel energised?
• In what ways can I better support you in our marriage?
• What boundaries do we need to set with our extended families?
• What can we do to protect our marriage from digital infidelity?
• What can we do to intentionally seek oneness in our marriage?
• What area of our marriage are we neglecting?
• Where can we find romance in our daily lives?
• What are three things I’ve done to make you feel cherished and honoured?
• What boundaries do we need to set with our parents to put our marriage first?
• How can we strengthen our marriage before crisis hits?
• How can we show more kindness to each other and to those around us?
• How can we manage our money better as a couple?
• How can we help those in our community who are grieving?
• What can we do to serve each other more like Christ?
• What was the most useful premarital discussion we had?
• What do you appreciate about our marriage?
• What does our marriage look like from the outside in?
• How can we make God the centre of our marriage?
• What would you like to accomplish as a couple this year?
• What can I do to improve our relationship with your family?
• What are some ways my personality can be pushed to an extreme?
• What are some ways our marriage has helped you grow spiritually?
• What are some ways we can prioritise our marriage?
• What are you grateful for in our marriage?
• Which of your strengths do you most value?
• What's a clear answer to prayer you've experienced?
• What's your most memorable moment of our wedding day?
• What is your favourite way of spending time with me?
• What's something you miss about your childhood?
• What moment in history would you like to have been a part of?
• What is the most valuable thing we own?
• Which friend has most influenced you and how?
• How can I show love/respect to you when we're in public?
• What do you most appreciate about our church?
• How can I help you accomplish your New Year resolution?
• What is your favourite way to worship God?
• What has been the most difficult struggle in your life so far?
• What goals would you like us to achieve before the end of the year?
• What area of our marriage are you most proud of? What’s an area you’d like to see us improve upon?
• What was your favourite chore as a child? What was your least favourite?
• What is something you have always wanted to try?
• As your spouse, how can I better nurture our relationship?
• What does "quality time" mean to you?
• What are three occupations that you could never do? Why?
• What is your biggest goal for the new year? In what ways can I help you achieve this?
• What is the most generous thing anyone has ever done for you?
• Who was your role model growing up? Why did you look to them as an example?
• How would you like to see us grow in our marriage by the end of the year?
• If you knew you could not fail, what would you do?
• Are you ever frightened about the future? If so, what frightens you?
• What are you most looking forward to about this year?
• If you were to open a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?
• What would you say is your greatest achievement? Why?
• When did you know that I was the one you were meant to marry?
• If you could make a living using a favourite hobby, which hobby would you choose?
• With what celebrity could you see yourself having a lot in common?
• When you were a child, what did you dream of becoming one day?
• If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be?
• Describe your current relationship with God.
• What’s your most favourite date activity?
• What do you most vividly remember about our first date?
• What aspect of our marriage would you like to work on this year?
• What do you like most about autumn?
• Which literary character is a lot like you?
• How do you see things differently since becoming married?
• If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
• What is the most embarrassing thing you ever did on your first job?
• What are your retirement dreams?
• What have you been learning about God lately?
• What do you hope for our marriage this year?
• Which holidays of the year are important to you and why?
• What are you most thankful for about our marriage?
• What things in life bring you the most joy?
• What are some of your best memories of our married life so far?
• What hopes do you have for our marriage and family?
• Tell me about the first time you saw God's hand at work in your life.
• What do you think are the strengths/weaknesses of our marriage?
• (Ask each other:) What spiritual gifts do you see in me?
• What kinds of hobbies do you wish we could do together?
• What are your expectations for this Christmas?
• What was the best Christmas you’ve ever had?
• What is your fondest childhood Christmas memory?
• What is your favourite part of the Christmas story? Why?

© 2021 Focus on the Family (Canada) Association. All rights reserved. Used with permission.