Communication | Focus on the Family Australia
100+ Heart to heart questions
By Focus on the Family Canada
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Asking questions is one way to keep exploring the many dimensions of your multi-faceted spouse and to keep your lines of communication open:

  • What was the best Christmas you’ve ever had?

  • Is there anything I do that really bothers you? That you'd like to see change?

  • What do I need to know about how you express different emotions (e.g., sadness, anger)?

  • What do I need to understand about your attachment style?

  • What’s one thing you would include in your dream house?

  • How can I better speak your love language?

  • In what ways can we be more on the same team?

  • What makes you feel the most alive?

  • How can I help you when you're feeling overwhelmed?

  • What was your favourite hobby as a child?

  • When do you feel closest with God?

  • How can I help you feel more comfortable when we talk?

  • What boundaries can we set with others to protect our marriage?

  • Do you need time alone or time with others to feel energised?

  • In what ways can I better support you in our marriage?

  • What boundaries do we need to set with our extended families?

  • What can we do to protect our marriage from digital infidelity?

  • What can we do to intentionally seek oneness in our marriage?

  • What can we do to be better stewards of our finances?

  • What area of our marriage are we neglecting?

  • Where can we find romance in our daily lives?

  • What are three things I’ve done to make you feel cherished and honoured?

  • What boundaries do we need to set with our parents to put our marriage first?

  • How can we strengthen our marriage before crisis hits?

  • How can we show more kindness to each other and to those around us?

  • How can we manage our money better as a couple?

  • How can we help those in our community who are grieving?

  • What can we do to serve each other more like Christ?

  • What was the most useful premarital discussion we had?

  • What do you appreciate about our marriage?

  • What does our marriage look like from the outside in?

  • How can we make God the centre of our marriage?

  • What would you like to accomplish as a couple this year?

  • What can I do to improve our relationship with your family?

  • What are some ways my personality can be pushed to an extreme?

  • What are some ways our marriage has helped you grow spiritually?

  • What are some ways we can prioritise our marriage?

  • What are you grateful for in our marriage?

  • What was one expectation you had about our marriage?

  • Which of your strengths do you most value?

  • What's a clear answer to prayer you've experienced?

  • What's your most memorable moment of our wedding day?

  • What is your favourite way of spending time with me?

  • What's something you miss about your childhood?

  • Whose marriage do you admire, and what can we learn from it?

  • What moment in history would you like to have been a part of?

  • What's one thing that made you laugh today?

  • What’s one thing I did this week that impressed you?

  • What is the most valuable thing we own?

  • Which friend has most influenced you and how?

  • What's the silliest fight we've ever had?

  • How can I show love/respect to you when we're in public?

  • What do you most appreciate about our church?

  • How can I help you accomplish your New Year resolution?

  • What is your favourite way to worship God?

  • What has been the most difficult struggle in your life so far?

  • What goals would you like us to achieve before the end of the year?

  • What area of our marriage are you most proud of? What’s an area you’d like to see us improve upon?

  • What is your favourite summertime memory from your childhood?

  • What was your favourite chore as a child? What was your least favourite?

  • What is something you have always wanted to try?

  • As your spouse, how can I better nurture our relationship?

  • What does "quality time" mean to you?

  • What are three occupations that you could never do? Why?

  • What is your biggest goal for the new year? In what ways can I help you achieve this?

  • What is your favourite part of the Christmas story? Why?

  • What is the most generous thing anyone has ever done for you?

  • Who was your role model growing up? Why did you look to them as an example?

  • How would you like to see us grow in our marriage by the end of the year?

  • If you knew you could not fail, what would you do?

  • Are you ever frightened about the future? If so, what frightens you?

  • What are you most looking forward to about this year?

  • If you were to open a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?

  • What would you say is your greatest achievement? Why?

  • When did you know that I was the one you were meant to marry?

  • If you could make a living using a favourite hobby, which hobby would you choose?

  • With what celebrity could you see yourself having a lot in common?

  • What is your favourite memory of your grandparents?

  • When you were a child, what did you dream of becoming one day?

  • If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be?

  • How have you changed through our marriage?

  • Describe your current relationship with God.

  • What’s your most favourite date activity?

  • What do you most vividly remember about our first date?

  • What aspect of our marriage would you like to work on this year?

  • What is your fondest childhood Christmas memory?

  • What do you like most about autumn?

  • What are the top five things you are most thankful for in your life?

  • Which literary character is a lot like you?

  • How do you see things differently since becoming married?

  • If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?

  • What is the most embarrassing thing you ever did on your first job?

  • What's the funniest thing you ever did as a kid?

  • What are your retirement dreams?

  • What do you like most about our marriage and why?

  • What have you been learning about God lately?

  • What do you hope for our marriage this year?

  • What are your expectations for this Christmas?

  • Which holidays of the year are important to you and why?

  • What are you most thankful for about our marriage?

  • What do you admire most about each of your parents?

  • What things in life bring you the most joy?

  • What are some of your best memories of our married life so far?

  • What hopes do you have for our marriage and family?

  • Tell me about the first time you saw God's hand at work in your life.

  • What do you think are the strengths/weaknesses of our marriage?

  • (Ask each other:) What spiritual gifts do you see in me?

  • What kinds of hobbies do you wish we could do together?

  • What are some practical ways I can make you feel loved?

  • What are your expectations for this Christmas?

  • What was the best Christmas you’ve ever had?

  • What is your fondest childhood Christmas memory?

  • What is your favourite part of the Christmas story? Why?

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