It seems that every day we hear reports about teenagers who are involved in binge drinking, casual sex, bullying and violence.
New research now shows that drinking alcohol during adolescence can be harmful to young people’s physical development, particularly brain development.
Alcohol consumption during this time can result in learning difficulties, memory problems and other problems later in life.1
There is now also evidence that teenagers who have casual sexual relationships may have difficulty in bonding in a committed marriage relationship when they are older and often suffer from depression and other emotional difficulties.2
As parents we want to do all we can to steer our children away from poor choices and destructive behaviour.
There is good news!
Research has also shown that parents are still the greatest influence on their teenage children. Our kids may not seem to be listening to us and it may feel as though they never agree with anything we think or say; but they are watching us. We are continually modelling how we do life. How we handle life will impress and influence our kids more than the words we speak.
Our teenagers will be influenced positively as we choose to model:
- Unconditional love No matter what their behaviour, our kids need to know that love is not withdrawn, even when discipline is needed. The teenage years provide a great opportunity to practise forgiveness!
- Joy The ability to remain optimistic and positive even when times are tough. We can teach our kids that circumstances do not have to discourage or defeat us. Remind them that “this too will pass”.
- Peace Don’t allow strife to rule in our homes but choose to be a peace maker. We can choose not to respond to anger with anger; but be the first to apologise and the first to forgive when it is needed.
- Patience Being able to wait for something and not demanding instant gratification. We need to be patient with ourselves and each other, and especially patient with our teenagers! We are all a “work in progress”.
- Kindness Showing empathy and consideration for each other.
- Goodness When we choose to do good to others, being a giving and serving family and not living selfishly, we can be a great inspiration to kids.
- Faithfulness Watching each other’s backs. The family needs to be a safe place where kids and adults feel protected and know they will always be accepted.
- Gentleness Even angry, rebellious teenagers need to be handled with care – don’t let the outside fool you. There is a vulnerable heart beneath the hardest exterior.
- Self control We hope our children will exercise self control as they are faced with pressures and temptations all around them. Our own willingness to be self controlled and to live within correct boundaries will be an example to them.
As we allow these qualities to determine our actions and choices they will provide a strong protective foundation in the lives of our teenagers.
Josie Freer
Program Coordinator
1 The Impact of Alcohol on the Adolescent Brain by Dr. Andrew Rochford http://www.drinkwise.com.au/Home/Impact-of-alcohol-on-your-children/The-impact-of-alcohol-on-the-adolescent-brain.aspx)
2 Hooked by Joe S. McIlhaney Jr MD & Freda McKissic Bush MD, 2008 Northfield Publishing
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